Insomniac Revelations

So lately, I've been having a LOT of trouble trying to fall asleep at night. I don't know why, but it's been pretty bad. I'd lie in bed for hours, struggling to fall asleep, watching movie after movie in an attempt to ease my mind. If I did sleep, I'd sleep for two hours, max, and then wake up for no reason. Then, I couldn't fall back asleep for at least three and a half hours, if at all. Simply terrible.

Why was this happening? I'm eating better, I'm being a much better student, getting all of my work done earlier so I'm not staying up later, doing little exercises while I have large amounts of reading, etc. I've been very pro-active and healthy and I've been very proud of myself. ...But I can't sleep. Lying there in bed for hours every night made me keep thinking, "What a waste of time. I could just get up and go write a paper or something, but I really just want to go to sleep." And it's SO FRUSTRATING.

So I got to thinking, there HAS to be a reason for this. It's not like I was drinking lots of caffeine right before I go to sleep, jacking myself up on sugar or anything. It wasn't anything physical that I was doing. I had finally gotten myself into a healthy routine, so why was it going wrong?

A routine. Maybe that was it. I sort of always lacked a routine--I like doing things in whatever way I so choose, rather than being bound to one strict method. Now that I had a routine, my mind was going crazy at night. I was using my time during the day to do all my work and just going straight to bed. Maybe this was a sign for my to stop the mundane. Stop the routine. Be spontaneous again. To not conform to the routine of the working world just yet. Be fun and do my work while still making time for me.

Do what needs to be done, but never forget about yourself. Yes, the rest of the world is out there and there are expectations for you, but don't dedicate yourself solely to them. You need your own time too. Don't abandon yourself at the price of your happiness and sanity. Even if it's just ten minutes, do it.

Yours,
The A.S.S.